Met online: what to do on a first date

In the digital age we are increasingly on a date with a person you only know on the profile on a Dating site and short correspondence. You met at a restaurant, sitting opposite each other, in the mind of comparing a living person with his photo in the network (usually not in favor of a new acquaintance), and feel you panic. What to talk to him? How to behave so as not to seem to him a fool?

Анастасия Максимова

Anastasia Maksimova

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Anastasia Maksimova
Psychology
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Познакомились в интернете: что делать на первом свидании

Don’t expect too much

Seriously. We all want it to be perfect, but it happens rarely even with the best scenario. Most likely, the date will be filled with awkward moments, silly jokes and pauses as long as eternity. The best thing you can do to avoid it — don’t even try to avoid it. Just relax and let the date take its course. Don’t draw in your mind the man of your dreams, even if during the correspondence you feel that you have found your soul mate. Set yourself a simple and clear purpose — to learn about the person more.

Better cafe than a restaurant

First date at the table with a white cloth in the most expensive restaurant in the city — bad option. Apart from the fact that inevitably the question arises, what to wear and who pays for dinner, most likely, both of you will feel uncomfortable. It is best for a first date would be a regular cafe, pizzeria or even a leisurely walk in the Park if the weather allows. Classic date with candles adds to the atmosphere of officialdom. During these evenings normally discuss future plans, career prospects or policy, and it is certainly not what it takes to start.

Give both of you time

You will be uncomfortable. Few people feel free and relaxed. Among your friends probably legendary, as someone barely seeing my husband I felt “it”. Full confidence that with this person she’ll spend the rest of his days would raise four children, and die in one day. Believe me, these stories are found only in romantic comedies. Ordinary mortals need time to get used to a new person to test the waters, to find common themes and build rapport. In General, do not rush to conclusions about the person in the first ten minutes of the date.

Don’t be afraid to pause

Live human conversation pause — this is normal, you’re not an announcer on television and not make a presentation to the Board of Directors of your company. Of course, it would be better if you come up with some topics that might be potentially interesting to both you and your partner. Do not try to stay within “safe” topics like the weather. You may be interested in a half-hour to shoot the breeze about does anybody love rain or not? That your new friend is unlikely to be thrilled. Remember, your goal is to get people to open up, to know what he breathes, what he is interested in. Talk about travel, Pets, or family relationships if this topic is not too personal for you.

Leave yourself a path of retreat

Corny, but true. The date might not go as planned. So not that you would want to run away immediately. And the first thing you would do at home — this will lock your friend in all social networks. If you feel that something went wrong from the very beginning, indicate the time limits in the first second: “hi, nice to finally see you. Sorry, I have very little time — the boss gave a task for the weekend”. Another, equally trivial but effective move is to ask your best friend to call exactly half an hour after the start date. Does he understand what you want him to escape? Yes, to be sure. But if you still are not going to continue Dating, what’s the difference?

Less noise

Do not choose a date where you will not be able to talk. A movie or night club you can enjoy how your partner eating popcorn or delayed after the third cocktail, but this is unlikely to help you learn about the person more. As it is not necessary to meet in a cafe, where, after six live music — in this case to talk, you just have to sit and bend over to his ear in a blatant violation of the personal space of each other. Or Vice versa, you are forced to sit across from each other at the table and a bewildered smile because read my lips you don’t know.

Do not take all responsibility

Don’t Google too much — leave yourself room for curiosity. Yes, we all do it — trying to find out before the first date as much as possible about the person, not to be trapped. But, honestly, no one will blame you if you go on a date without preparation. On the contrary, your partner will love that you ask him questions about his life and not say something like: “In one of your may entries in Facebook you wrote that your second cousin finally got married. Well, how’s he doing now?”

But most importantly — do not do on a first date anything that you do in everyday life. For example, if you are used to paying for itself, there is no reason to deviate from this tradition.

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