The traditional family: the trap in which you want to lure

You’re attracted to traditional values? I want to get married and become a housewife? Take care of her husband, to bear and raise children, create a cozy atmosphere in the house and bake pies? This is all very laudable desire, of course, but then nobody guarantees that it will always be. It can be very, very wrong.

Снежана Грибацкая

Snezhana Hrebacka


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Snezhana Hrebacka
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Традиционная семья: ловушка, в которую тебя хотят заманить

What is the traditional family?

If we are talking about the traditions of our closest ancestors, the traditional family is only a family consisting of two adults and minor children. These families were our parents and grandparents. In fact, we too have not gone from this comfortable model: other options are available, but it is rather the exception that proves the rule. We still see a family like this, and it’s probably a good thing.

The problem is that this is not the traditional family, because the tradition is to live in such a composition is too young — only a few generations, there is nothing to say. A real traditional family is a Patriarchal family. The one in which several generations lived together and managed a household and raised children. The one which adhered to a strict hierarchy. The one, the head of which was male — male dominated and women and children, and the elderly. Today, we can’t afford to live a kind of mini-community, and do not want. It seems to us that several generations under one roof is too much. We understand that there is no sense to drag into the modern world tradition that will ruin our lives: having lived a minute in the city with mom, dad, grandmothers, great-grandmothers, uncles, aunts and other seventh water on the jelly — crazy from not being able to be alone. So why are we quite reasonably reject the opportunity to live a traditional family now, but trying to get back in the modern family the position of the “man in charge”?

No, you just don’t want to live like your prepreparatory

The traditional family could not exist without a man not because no brute masculine strength farming. It is possible, though extremely difficult. It is not that the woman is weaker, the fact that a woman recently, in principle not considered fully human. Patriarchal society believed that “chicken is not a bird, a woman not a man.” Man is the bridge between a woman and a society in which she had no rights. The man’s defense: Yes, a husband could beat a wife (and often did), but from other men, she was somehow protected. If women were not men, she actually had no more rights than an animal. And her daughter, too. Imagine that at any moment your house could go the man in the street and rape you and he won’t get in, you’re a lonely woman, who needs you? So the world looked like in the era of the traditional family. The evolution of women in the movies: a housewife, pretty, career woman, superhero.

Why the “traditional family” man?

How the world looks now? Without going into details, in General, men and women have equal rights. You have education, you have a job, you have the right to dispose of their property, and you are protected by the law. Why do you need a man? To love him and create a family with him, all right. If you want to. But why a man should be “head”? He educated? No. It has features not found in a woman? No. He earns more? Not a fact. On what basis a man seeks to obtain some advantage over you?

Answer: for the simple reason that he is lazy and arrogant type. On the grounds that he decided to get in the face of female free servants. Amazingly, there are still many women believe that housework is their concern. Why? The majority of the population lives in large cities and working day the majority looks exactly the same: public transport, a day in the office at the computer, again by public transport. You work in the same way, so why should you have to get “the machine” second shift? Clean, cook, wash and iron, while it’s torso is going to play “tank battle”. And then you have to bring yourself up, because “you’re a woman”, and generally will not be pretty — he’ll dump you, in spite of borscht. Well settled, Yes?

Why the “traditional family” woman?

Let’s see what you get in return: oops, nothing. In fact, the man you need just in the moment when you decide to have a child. Unfortunately, not every salary allows you to hire a nanny, and so you’re going to live on the money her husband until he returns to work. And this time it will reproach you, but will still require you to serve him better: “well You sit at home!” The fact that the child is, in fact, your total project, is not taken into account. Children women. Mr. tired, he was not before.

If you’re troubled and thought: “What nonsense, my!” it means that you are very very lucky. Or it means you just play a traditional family, and the husband “the head” only in words, but in fact you can at any time send his things on the way, and he knows it. Knows and impudent. It is the same “Chapter” as you — Spanish pilot.

But a lot of women choose for themselves the role of wives, mothers and Housewives. Have the right, why not? It is a conscious choice and a calculated risk: even if a man is the most loyal in the world man, it does not guarantee anything. He could lose his job. He might get sick. Men are mortal and, most importantly, sudden death. To be alone with children, no experience, and no job is scary, but if you want to risk it, why not? The family model implies a very simple division of responsibilities: he earns money, it provides everything else. This is useful especially if a couple plans to have more than one child. But the fact that the child is no longer additional labor and no guarantee of full age. Children today are the highest value for parents. Who said the work is busy man, an important work that woman? Who said that the man should be the primary on the grounds that all it contains? Yes, the woman should definitely carry out their duties — if she voluntarily took. But why it should become second? No.

Where is the trap?

That is why you should alert the reasoning of men about traditional family values. And before you link their fate with a man who is committed to the “tradition”, think: what’s behind it? Well, if he means by this strong family and children. But if he’s going to be “the head and the Patriarch” — you know, where will this lead? To ensure that you will work, and then fancy to be killed on the field of the household. To ensure that the parenting will fall on your shoulders completely. To ensure that you will have to reproach a piece of bread while you most of these children will nurture and educate. To the fact that in this period you gonna have to beg for money for a new lipstick — and well even if not on the strip. To ensure that you will live in fear: what if he dump you? That’s what a “traditional family” in today’s world.

Fortunately, we have just the family. Equal to the Union of two loving each other people. And this Union, by the way, does not make you the same. Equal — Yes. But femininity and masculinity at the same time will not disappear. This should be remembered when you once again sings about “tradition.”