“Feminism will not pass”: all the girls – snowflakes, and boys clowns

Why Russia is still too far from gender equality? First of all, this idea is not very like the women themselves.

Marta Ketro

Marta Ketro
Columnist cosmo.ru

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Marta Ketro
Psychology
Not news
«Феминизм не пройдёт»: все девочки - снежинки, а мальчики - клоуны

Before, when I was asked about the attitude to feminism, I replied that I was not able to support this worthy movement, because it implies equal rights with men, and that I can’t do that — men do not deserve equality, who will give them.

Actually, I was joking. But for some time has ceased, because this joke revealed truth, and I don’t like it.

If you take a generation of parents, it turns out that in that pretty head of our mothers, dyed with henna, Basma or “mahogany” prevailed somewhat contradictory beliefs. The man seems to be considered the pillar of the family, moral and material, and even formally its head. But in practice dominated by enough contempt for “man”: he is drunk, and disorderly, sloppy, wasteful, unbusinesslike, lustful, helpless, and simply not very smart. The woman, in the parlance of “Baba”, should keep man in check, to rule with an iron hand, take away the salary and to grant daily allowance for cigarettes and lunch. On weekends to pour a glass, and no more. She makes her own decisions, to make repairs, and in the best case Prague in the work of his blunt male. Wards off other predators, wash socks, sure that her grief was getting dressed for the season, exports for them dirt and, of course, feeds. From the list of responsibilities there is a portrait of a dissolute mentally retarded mute. It is sufficient to watch films of those times, where the positive heroes or childish, or drunk, sometimes both, and always relied on women’s wisdom and power.

Many of us grew up with this image before my eyes, and even if the family was wonderful, the air was still charged with benign neglect: “Girl stars and snowflakes, and boys are all clowns,” said one new year’s ad in the kindergarten. Naturally, the pendulum has swung the other way, and modern girls often dream of a strong hand: let him decide for me, take him by the paw and lead, put before the fact and even use mild violence. On the Internet thousands of likes collect pseudo-male texts “I’m responsible for you fool, I’m not letting you wander at night, make sure you are warmly dressed and will not allow to get into trouble” — the girls are just thrilled. But a brutal male still girls need above all in order to fulfill their desires. I am giving you part of their freedom (and the body), and you spoil me. The agreement is generally good — all contracts are good, as long as everyone is happy with — if both sides didn’t cheat. But she deep down hopes to pick up a man in a clingy little hands and secretly steer them, and the man very quickly forgets the paragraphs relating to the care, but about the restriction of rights knows hard.

Do you remember the photo project who is fascinated by a lot of women? The photos from different corners of the world is always a girl who goes in front of the man and pulls him along. Isn’t it beautiful? She’s so beautiful and he’s so driven, what could be sweeter. But he probably paid for the trip, dreaming of admiring spectators.

Moreover, men applying to the partnership, cause irritation. Before the New year I wrote about the expectations of their unmarried friends about what girls they are looking for marriage. Serious outrage among readers raised two points.

The first concerns the division of expenses, even if not in half. The idea that women would welcome a significant contribution to the family budget, many did not like scary.

The second reason for dissatisfaction with me really surprised. Men like intellectual intimacy, collaboration, a joint development, where I even allowed for the expression “inspirational relationship”. And this seems unfair. He even contain it is not going, and she an inspiration? His personality abogada? Talk talk? That is, girls again I read that a man has for a drag. That relations of this level are to develop and to please her, the thought arose.

The words “partnership and cooperation” was abandoned. That, apparently, the reason that not all women are ready. Or bury me with my problems, or obey, or some kind of a fraudulent combination of this. And to be a couple, to have equal rights and duties, together to make decisions — well, noooo, it’s too hard. Power games is much more interesting and more understandable.

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