“I don’t deserve him” and other popular complexes, from which you must get

Complexes destroy life, relationships, career. How to get rid of them and implement those roles that make you the happiest wife, mother, successful business woman? Recommendations divided certified coach and hypnotherapist, Creator of the women’s Association “Neo Lady” Marina Rybnikova.

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«Я его не достойна» и другие популярные комплексы, от которых пора избавиться

To get rid of complexes, we first need to understand where they came from, where their roots are. And now we are with you step by step let us consider the example of the metaphor the cause of these complexes. This will help simple exercise: sit comfortably, close your eyes and imagine the house as much detail as possible. Describe in detail what you saw:

What’s the Foundation?

The Foundation is what makes you a allows you to identify as a person. Personality is based on 3 components:

1) body;

(Mentally walk inside eyes all over my body, from the tips of the toes and to the top, listen to yourself. What clamps and where do you feel? Any such place is the bell of the body that need to be worked out a certain feeling or situation. Ignoring the problem can lead to psychosomatic illnesses.)

2) mind;

(It is based on education: to broaden horizons, to gain new knowledge every day. Learn to accept yourself, to love, to pamper and be thankful for what you have.)

3) soul.

(Here we are talking about emotions. Each of us has a leading emotion that sets the tone for the character in General. Think about what is inherent to you? To do this, answer the following questions: how do you feel when you Wake up that brings you real happiness that you usually feel during the day? And then try to track exactly how you experience emotion — from which body part it is a response.)

How to harmonize all 3 spheres

It is important that all three components of the Foundation of the personality are in harmony. This will help you:

  • yoga = body + soul balance;
  • dancing = body + soul;
  • theatre = body + mind.

But how to choose these and other options? Try to understand that at the moment, you spend LESS time, — it is this area and should be a priority. And it should be strengthened.

If you ignore the BODY, add physical activity: yoga, dancing, sports, Jogging.

If little attention is the work with the SOUL, singing, drawing, embroidering, sewing.

If less time you give the MIND to, look for educational courses on a topic that you like. In any case, don’t do what not “comments” or forced! Otherwise, the soul will suffer.

What walls?

Load-bearing walls in our house metaphor personifies the values. They have all laid from birth. There are 4 main walls, which helps to keep the house:

  • family
  • self-realization,
  • comfort
  • love to all (caring for others).

These walls are load-bearing, they do not change, remaining the same even after the application of paint or plaster. Thanks to them, the house retains its integrity.

Your task is to understand what is currently important to you of these four values. Write down all the values on a sheet of paper and listen to yourself: what spoke to your soul? What are you already doing to achieve harmony and what you plan to do?

Partitions. It is the walls that form the room. The room is what comes from load-bearing walls, the same installation. I want a family, but “I’m not pretty enough”. Go through these walls brick by brick, tap all settings that are inside you: “I don’t know how to communicate with a man” or “I had 2 divorces, I don’t know how to build relationships” or “Kids will tie me to home.” These are the stereotypes of the category of “I don’t deserve him”. Go brick by brick and write on a piece of paper your installation.

All of these settings in our metaphor — partitions that can be repositioned with no damage to the home. On the contrary, competent “reshuffle” will protect your building against adverse external factors: society, information, links.

How could they occur? Perhaps in kindergarten, the boy told the girl that she doesn’t deserve him, and that thought stuck in her head. Or strict and demanding parents often said: “to get what you want, you must do the following… (study for “five”, to take first place at the Olympics, etc.)”. Hence, the belief that everything — even love — you have to earn it. Nothing to just.

To deal with these systems, you need to write on a sheet of paper all the negative thoughts and words that you often say or think when meeting a man.

Changing neural connections that demolish our house, patched walls.

The next step is to change the settings to positive.

Next to each negative wording or thoughts write to its positive counterpart. For example: “I don’t deserve him” “I deserve to be with the beloved man”. You do not need to explain yourself, say why you deserve it. It is important! Just take this as a given. Every woman has a uniqueness and unique beauty.
For 21 days every morning and read a new positive attitude in front of the mirror.


So, we understood how through the metaphor of a house it is possible to identify the causes complexes and to study them.

1. Causes in the Foundation. Focus on the harmonization of the Trinity: soul, mind and body. This will give the opportunity to observe themselves and to get rid of the factors causing the appearance of the complexes.

2. Reasons for bearing walls. Prioritize what’s important now for you. This will reduce the number of neuroses in your life and will give insight in what direction you need to move on.

3. The causes of the partitions. This is a consequence of the influence of the external environment. Turning over bricks, you can build any wall, even gold!

After points # 1 and # 2, you will be able to easily cope with all their systems. Therefore, each situation it is important to first parse through the Foundation, then through the load-bearing walls and finally through installation (partitions).

This approach is already after 21 days you will begin to perceive yourself differently, and then see what’s around you is also starting to happen positive changes.