This is ridiculous: Arina Choline on the imaginary of sexuality for the sake of which we suffer

To feel comfortable in extremely sexual clothing impossible: it is too open, too tight, it is generally not necessary for a normal life. But we still want to be deliberately sexy. Arina Kholina know why this is happening and what to do with it.

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Psychology
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Это нелепо: Арина Холина о мнимой сексуальности, ради которой мы страдаем

I had a girlfriend, this sex bomb. I came to visit her, and then calls her boyfriend and calls for a party. And here we are standing in front of wardrobe, choose me a dress. And everything is just so… open, even when closed. And here I put on something slinky, with inserts to the chest was larger, and the ribs to me but, the breast is stretched to the collarbone… I can imagine how fit in her stilettos, take a tiny purse on a chain, and such a pace, as if PAVA… And start laughing. Can’t stop. The image seems to me to be so comical, so uncomfortable that I can’t imagine how to live in it in all seriousness. Do I look like? Definitely not at myself. And I don’t think I’m a real woman. All these dresses are for any sex winodow. Those that do not breathe, do not eat burgers, don’t slouch.

I suspected looking at this familiar and alive? Thought: why is it necessary? She’s beautiful, she’s sexy, hell drag himself with all these dresses that made the best for dummies? But it sure is perfect. It is really perfect. In a certain sense. Perfect for those ideal, which is composed for women Christian Dior. He created the image of female perfection, woman does not exist in the real world. He created the principle of martyrdom of sexuality — one that is given only in the case if you 24 hours and 7 days a week not doing anything other than polishing the nails and put hair hair to hair. And it’s odd that femininity, that sexuality is more than just a man, but also a man of genuine female sexuality did not understand. She was not interested in that at all.

Western society from the time Dior passed a long and difficult road. It is back Chanel with her famous costume without corsets and above came Saint Laurent, who created the comfort women, there were Calvin Klein, and Helmut lang, and Martin Margiela with their simplicity and minimalism, deconstruction. They followed feminism, progress, they have caught the desire of women.

And Russia at that time wore sackcloth, and dreamed of the old luxury that know the movies and the red carpet. Russian woman wanted to be sexy — but I couldn’t. She had not seen Jessica Lange in reality, when the left image is a graceful, helpless beauty, and dressed in a wide and “male”. She didn’t understand what created the movies and magazines diva is a myth, no one walks the streets. A myth created by men who embody their personal fantasies about female sex robots, obedient, as prostitutes, and as beautiful as Princess. And these men are not men in General. These are isolated instances, which might as well not okay with sexuality, as, for example, Roman Polanski.

But the Russian woman didn’t know. She thought that the way women live. These infinitely beautiful, gingerbread, airy, sexy. Therefore, most Russian woman like to be sexy. Wanted to wear silk and chiffon, thin as spaghetti, studs, wanted long fingernails, which would suggest that such a prose like washing dishes — not for her.

Anywhere there are so many beautiful and sexy girls in Russia. In the West, even if the girl went clubbing in shorts — shorts and a corset, it is likely ironic. It’s not such a sexuality with an animal grin, whose task is to track down suitable man and marry him. It’s the sexy “what I want, and wear, you can all go to hell.” That’s the irony. And, more importantly, self-irony.

In the civilized world of the mystical female sexuality has long been a Museum exhibit of the 50-60’s. Or kinologija. On this legend, joke, parody it. But not taken seriously. Hot nor Spaniard, nor the conservative Italians are not “sexy”. Of course, the pig always find a truffle, and even in England, though in Italy is certainly somewhere you can see girls in dresses like Herve Leger and Louboutins. But this is niche. Such a small niche.

The modern woman works, and she doesn’t have time to torture yourself with sexuality. It will not be all the free time to spend on something to stay flawless. Perfection is desperately out of fashion. From the culture. There are, of course, all the endless Kardashians, which set the tone for a photo in Instagram. But it’s the sex industry. Without any embellishment.

But a Russian woman is most afraid to be non-sexual. Afraid of men, baggy, laconic. Strange. Funny. Unless sexuality can be funny?! Well, you, you, sexuality is very serious.

“What kind of bag is that on?” — asks the mother of my girlfriend. She’s the only direct on this dress. The conflict is that it is “without waist”. Waist fetish Russian sexuality. “What kind of bag is that on?” — this is me asking this friend. “Why hide the body?” Why do I show it? What will change in my life, if I get tight chest and ass? Nothing. Well, I don’t like men who go to these hellish t-shirts and slinky pants size small. So where is the opinion that women so well? What is the difference about whose sexuality we say vulgarity is the same for men and women.

Let’s say you are watching fashion shows and I see all these airy dresses for Cinderella. But you think about who they are doing? The correct answer is for the Eastern princesses. No one is not wearing it. Western Princess has long been find young independent designers who make just a weird, funny, “no waist” and “non-sexual”. Because Western don’t need to “work” for man. Western long known that sexuality is not about the waist, the chest… Not that it all tumbled out and covered… But about the sex. West is not afraid of the word “sex” in its literal sense, not afraid to be sexy in the sense that want sex. “Sexuality” is necessary for those who want to be and to seem.

Centuries of Patriarchy have brought the woman to the point of absurdity. Fashion, this privilege of the aristocracy, turned the dress into a parody of clothes. Absurdity and parody — that looked like women until the mid-NINETEENTH century, and for 150 years it took to get rid of these clichés. So enjoy it now. Be weird. And funny. Deserve. Be sexy — that is free to their desires, in order to make love with anyone, anytime, anywhere. For yourself. Without any far-reaching intentions.

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