Objectivity is: Ekaterina Popova about sex and sexuality

Sexual objectification is an attitude towards another person solely as an instrument (object) for their own sexual gratification. What happens to us when we become targets?

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Cosmo Online
Psychology
Not news
Объективируй это: Екатерина Попова о сексе и сексуальности

One day the old woman told me the story of how once upon a time in the morning, she stood in the doorway to her husband and said, “You’re not going to work. You need to go to the hospital.” And they went to town, and from there almost immediately — in the regional. He was very sick and the doctors said that they pomedli a day could be too late. And then there was two years of treatment and unpleasant procedures, she was there, comforted, persuaded and reassured. This story without a happy end disease was fatal. But two years of his life, which she gave him, seem worthless trifle, only when you are healthy and young.

When I read men write: “You are slender, with the third breast size, athletic but not pumped, without cellulite, with long blonde hair, relaxed and uninhibited”, I think they think of themselves as immortal and invulnerable as a marvel Wolverine. Immortal not looking for a reliable partner, they choose a coffee maker — but only one that brews no coffee and the quality of sex — oral, anal, Thai, massage, jet orgasm from the sight of a man and other steps and prohlopali.

Objectification, says Wikipedia, is the perception of the other person or against him solely as an instrument (object) for their own sexual gratification.

The key word is “exceptional” and “instrument”. One of my francessa gave a very apt comparison: a date with a cannibal. You go to the movies with him, and he thinks you cook. You talk about your favorite books, and he was wondering what the sauce is perfect for steak of your thigh. You ask about what he does, and he vaguely and confusedly says, constantly stumbling because she’s trying to solve, do you, or enough pairs of the most mouth-watering pieces. No matter what their future dinner, no matter what happens to him after that — I wonder only whether to eat and how tasty it will be.

If we leave aside the cannibalistic metaphor, objectification is a phenomenon which causes substantial harm to society in General and women in particular. The consequences of objectification are visible and measurable: for example, five years ago in the journal Psychological Science published the results of the study, “Integrating Sexual Objectification With Object Versus Person Recognition: The Sexualized-Body-Inversion Hypothesis”, which stated that a continuous stream of sexualized images of parts of the female body on posters, billboards, banners led to the dehumanization of women — photos naked girls in the literal sense of the word began to be perceived by the human brain as image objects. Items, the purpose of which is to provide men with sex.

The items neither the will nor the desire nor the right. The coffee maker did not ask if she wants to make coffee, the washing machine does not specify that she is today willing to twist the coloreds or whites. The transformation of man into a thing — based culture of violence. In women, reduced to the level of the tool, no longer interested in whether she wants sex, if Yes — then what. One of my frendes in Facebook wrote a post about what men do, which refused from comments, which immediately fell from the other women’s hairs stand on end. For example, one of the girls told how she was almost pushed off the platform of a subway train, when she didn’t want to meet. The other thought gave her a slap in the face, and the third that she tried to stifle a fourth — that it tried to bring down a machine.

Objectification affects all aspects of women’s lives. We come to Boxing but coach teaches us carelessly, because I’m sure that girl came here looking for men. We learn in universities, but teachers do not hesitate to say that “marriage is sharpened on the brain of a PhD student is not able to understand the postpositivism”. Psychologists teach us, want to make a career, try to let the people have forgotten that you are a woman, say in a low voice, wear appropriate clothing, mask femininity.

Accustomed that we appreciate, we begin to do it themselves. Our most terrible nightmare is the loss of sexual attraction, because it is the measure of our worth and success. We are ashamed when they cannot look like a standard coffee maker. We take for granted when we are told that we must first be interested in their appearance — and only then men are willing to consider our “rich inner world”. And the words about the inner world sounded more like a mockery, when read between the lines that he is just not interesting.

When feminists say that objectification should be stopped, as it is blessed with a post for discrimination, into the hands of a culture of violence, the most violently protesting are not men and women. Not surprising — now not to be suitable for “injection” is to become invisible to men generally, and therefore, lose hope for family and the loved one near.

But the rejection of objectification is not a rejection of sex or sexuality. Imagine that you are a man. And now that you do not objectivist — this does not mean that you do not want at all. Just sex now — not the first, not important and the only thing you need, and appearance doesn’t matter anymore. Now no matter how much you weigh, if your skin is sufficiently thin waist, do you know how to do a Blowjob and do anal sex. What is more important — kindness, sense of humor, shared values and world views, the same Hobbies, joint work and unifying purpose, be it travel, sports records, a co-author fanfic or family. Finally, it is important that you — the same man who in the morning will be in the door to rescue.

As for the sex it won’t be less, and you less sexy. Most likely, even more. I, for instance, find infinitely attractive to men the ability to write poetry and love for animals. And, you know, my choice this was.

Photo: Suitsupply Ad Campain;

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