Every lady is sure that she is the best friend in the whole world. But actually tender friendship sometimes turns into a really toxic relationship. And it may well be that the reason for this is you.
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The girlfriend of the pilot: 6 bombers, which will replace your leather biker jacket
Focus on eyes: what points need to buy this fall
You tell her the truth
Very, very clean, not soiled nor delicacy or softness. Truth literally. For example, sincerely tell her that her not look fat in that dress, and the manner to eat 8 times a day. Especially nasty to add, “Well, who told you the truth-I would say except me!”
In fact in such a truth needs no one person. And she will soon understand it.
You tell her everything about himself
Theoretically, this is a sign that you absolutely trust. In practice, however, such openness is usually means that you speak only about you and your problems. Because about their it is simply a word in edgewise no time. And if you have time, then the answer is: “Oh, I did too! Listen, I’ll tell you…” Is a one-sided game, and if you don’t stop soon the final whistle.
You’re teaching her to live
Your friendly vocabulary is the phrase “You just have to…” and “You should”, you give without asking: “You need to lose weight”; “You need to break up with him”; “You have to stop thinking about it and do something else”.
This is not a friendly help, and the breakout of other people’s boundaries. And even if the friend directly asks for your advice, it is better to formulate a response otherwise. For example: “I would be in this situation chose to leave.” Or: “Maybe it makes sense to try to lose a few pounds and see what happens.”
You always try to be fair and impartial
What, in General, even commendable — but not always. Sometimes she needs you to stop to walk their outstanding moral qualities and a white coat at the same time — virtual and just took her in my arms. Said that all around the mouflon and the villains, and she poor little kitty. Yes, it’s true. But trust me, she knows that’s not true, only that she came to you for unconditional support for her, not for careful analysis of the situation on the subject of “Who is really to blame.”
You often can’t reach her or get an answer by messengers
The key word is “often.” If you know for sure that her professional responsibilities or personal life her prevent her to be (quite difficult to reply to messages, if you’re a flight attendant or mother of many children, for example), but nevertheless are often unable to get through to her — that can only mean one thing: she’s avoiding you. And, time does not understand it in any other way, then, most likely, and itself can’t explain what’s wrong. And we can: it is one of the hallmarks of issuing the victim of a toxic friendship.
You never admit your mistakes
And don’t apologize for what upset her or was taught to live and taught bad. Even when she speaks directly to you about it — you blame her: it’s not your fault, and she takes everything too much to heart and does not think his own head, Yes!
You take, but give nothing in return
She is always ready to lend you money or purse, to call and to water your flowers or to send to your boyfriend your with her alleged secret correspondence (which you yourself invented, to understand and realize). But you every time happen some problems, when she asks to feed her cat while on vacation or to watch her baby while she escapes for a manicure.
You discount her feelings
It is possible, not out of malice. It is possible, you just don’t know how to say the right words of sympathy or shy. But the endless refrain of “Oh, don’t worry about any nonsense!”, she hears from you, sooner or later will force her to wonder: why would she want to be friends with you?
Are you jealous of her
Her friendship with other girls makes you annoyed. And even if you do not talk about it, then struggling to let her know that it bothers you. And sooner or later she’ll get tired of the guilt for something that violates an oath to be friends with you. Which of course she did not give you never.
You profess the principle of “what’s wrong?”
“What’s wrong? Well, I accidentally told your secret. But it is, I believe, as a matter of the language jumped!”; “What’s wrong? Well, I told your mother about your quarrel with her husband — well, I could not be silent, that would be rude!”