“Duck syndrome” and how to get rid of it: says Michael Labkovsky

Remember the joke about the duck and the “well horse-e-e-chno”? For some people it is a whole philosophy of life. Friend took a cool job with a huge salary? Well a horse-always, connection. The other married again for the cool guy? Well a horse-always with her legs… Another was leaving for a one-year internship in Paris? Well a horse-always… I could go on to list all our illusions about how we are just puppets in the hands of fate, well, a horse is always. And you can once and for all to learn how to manage your life.

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«Синдром уточки» и как от него избавиться: рассказывает Михаил Лабковский

You’re worth it?

The problem is not that one person is by nature more “bonuses” in the form of a thin waist, a brilliant mind and some awesome super powers to make money, without straining, and another doesn’t. It lies in the fact that some people do, and the other “wind snot on his fist”. If you dig deeper, they all have their strengths and weaknesses. Only one this does not prevent to live as they want, while others look and envy.

The first reason for this phenomenon — low self-esteem. When you don’t believe in yourself, you are very difficult with any source data to achieve a good, desired result. You won’t even say anything about the high salary (where are you?), you approach the guy you like (well, what do you find it?), do not dare to Express themselves and their talents, sitting on your ass in a boring office.

And the solution to this problem is quite simple (I’ll do without the hackneyed “do your self”). Learn the principle of successful people, at least superficially: “the eyes fear, the hands do”. OK, will refuse you nothing. Successful people shifts the focus from himself, this tender and vulnerable, he’s more interested in Doing Business, not to evaluate their competence in comparison with others.

Second reason: you fiksiruesh on failures. Some nasty little thing so must be unsettling that you’re not even going to try for a second time. Recently advised aspiring actress, with all these utochnenie “horse-always”. It was the unexpected discovery of the fact that all the workers in the sphere of show business early in his career go to auditions every day — and what if in 20 places fail, in the 21st take.

Now, seriously, stop failures on circumstances.

Free yourself from the stereotypical reactions

I don’t like all these arguments, from the series “in early childhood at me at the zoo spit on the camel, since I can’t take no for an answer”. Seriously? Of course, we treat ourselves gently, but your mind — not a piece of China to stand in plain sight and collecting dust. It’s okay if you say no and a good idea turn into a failure.

Successful people are different that they are worth nothing to stand up, dust yourself off and continue your way forward. The correct lesson, which presents us any mistake — purely technical. Instead of “Yes, I am more will not even try” you can make a more simple conclusion: “if I come to the interview, not having the slightest idea about what the company does, most likely, I will not accept”.

Learn to take life easier and simpler, and don’t touch that please, your identity. It’s not you personally, the situation. But only you can correct.

Who is to blame?

Of course, in life we all have not just the failure, and some unexpected surprises, not necessarily pleasant. But this does not mean that you can’t control what is in your competence. For example, if the guy of her dreams is already taken, you can not break off and start looking for a new one. And if you have now a bit tight, you can either a crisis to blame, or begin to earn as much as you want.

You know, greed, you definitely will lead to no good: while you are actively costing who got more from the weather gods, you’re missing the best opportunities in your life. And Yes, while you read this text, any Chinese anywhere in the province Huan accidentally bought a lottery ticket — and incidentally the ticket was a winning one. And another Hollywood actress drinking champagne and reading the script, she just Woody Allen sent. What? Answer honestly: does that mean you cheated?..

Learn to truly love and be happy with what you already have. Only with this approach, you will be able to get more. Because otherwise you can’t get enough, you’ll always be “less fortunate” and fate is with you will never be considered. Change “God, why am I doing this” to “God that was me!!!”.

I promise you will start to improve

Waiting for you at his lecture in Moscow 17/09/18 on “How to not be dependent on circumstances and learn to take responsibility”. Here you’ll learn how to start to manage your life.