Often women are driving the relationship to a deadlock, following a typical “samples” of behavior and not realizing that their actions negatively impact on the character of men and on his behavior.
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Begin with such sketches: the family has a child. After the first few days when the excitement and shock is gone, the husband says to his wife: “Honey, I early in the morning to get up for work, let me sleep”. In 90% of cases, the woman will take it for granted and will do anything to at night, the child did not prevent to sleep to my own father. In special cases even go to sleep in another room so her husband normally slept. Her logic is simple: he feeds the family, he needs his rest. Like when the husband leaves for work, the woman goes to sleep, recovering from a sleepless night. Yes, and weekend man, too, not to worry: he needs to relax, it worked! Moreover, if the weekend the husband was willing to walk with a stroller, he will be a hero and done! Nothing that she 2 times a day all weekdays out? This, for a moment, not her own, and their child!
In this situation, alas, to blame the woman because she strongly contributes. And the error is not just because a woman is driving itself, peretruzhdaetsya, but also from the point of view of the integrity of the family (formed by a “Diaspora” mom+baby, dad is separate). Significantly decreases the probability that in the future the father with the child will be a warm and trusting relationship. The most insulting that the family has lost a sense of comradeship, a sense of unity where there is no separate project participants with distributed responsibilities and having a team together to cope with all tasks.
“When can we leave the child with the father?” — ask me some. Answer: as soon as I arrived from the hospital. Fed and went to the Barber shop, walk or to the girlfriend. 1-2 hour newborn it is possible to charge the dad. All only on advantage will go.
Then our baby grows up, he turns 3 years, you can go to the garden, and my mom. And here often by men, it follows this approach: “Why do you work? I normally earn, do family.” Of course, my wife’s salary will be lower because he worked for three years while she was with child, he has moved and she has to begin after a three year break. And here it is very important not to succumb to this provocation.
I am by profession had seen hundreds of such women who believe husband, and he after 10-15 years Packed up and left. And she was without a profession and without a job, she has lost skills in the age of about 40 is completely helpless. And well even if he helps the child or left her something, there are cases worse.
Understand one simple thing: providing you don’t run, your man cares NOT about you. He cares about himself. This is either an attempt to protect you from social contacts, from jealousy or other reasons, or attempt to hide your fear of being unsuccessful on your background, or he’s just neurotic and wants to be put down, he in the process gets fun.
Any, and I stress this, any woman who stays at home and is engaged only in farming and children is deteriorating. It is inevitable. And in the end the man becomes bored with his wife, he begins to consider her stupid, and there to divorce a half step. And note: initially, the man on anything not insist, is a woman with joy and clapping their hands decided to stay home.
Another aspect that women often complain that men have become greedy. No matter what the money not borrow, the price of all of them seem to be overpriced in the restaurant goes — it’s expensive, even if actually feasible. Where are the legs? From the same place. If a man uttered the phrase “Oh, what an expensive restaurant!”, and the woman responded: “let’s go somewhere else”, she lost. The correct answer is: “Probably, it’s very delicious, let’s try?” On the other hand, to beg for gifts — also a way to cultivate in man a greed. This is the opposite extreme, it should also be avoided.
The third type of typical female behaviour, which spoils the man’s behavior, which is characterized by the phrase “I myself”. I’ll do I’ll do, I’m the child will lay, sit, stand, do not bother, get some rest, myself. Very soon the man will get used to the fact that his help is not needed, and lie on the couch without remorse. He offered, I said “not necessary”, well and good.
Really, it all comes down to what I tell you in every lesson: do not tolerate, do not put yourself beneath a man, don’t give in. If you need help — tell me if you don’t like his behavior tell. Once! Loving to hear you and change their behavior, indifferent — will continue as if nothing had happened. Acts in the opposite direction: decide for yourself if you accept it here with such features — take and don’t complain, don’t nag and don’t take the brain. Don’t accept, walk away, stop shaking nerves him or yourself.
And the last rule: — no explanation of the relationship. The people you team, you are each other’s only support. The relationship turns out in private. And never condemn the person, condemn the action, act. “You don’t help me around the house”, Yes. “You lazy bastard” — no. Moreover, you cannot compare the person with others: “But Bob…” Or “But my husband lenkin something…” If Bob was the boss, and your husband is not, so he does not want to be the boss. Want husband head? Look, lots of single chiefs. Also don’t let you compare. Wants slender blonde and you a brunette with overweight? Ahead, he can look for his ideal. Each person is valuable in the complex, and it is impossible to take the character, by denying the appearance, and Vice versa. Do not humiliate the man that he did not meet the ideal in your head, and do not allow to humiliate itself.