“Second-class citizens”: how to live on the fourth decade

Half of my life, and even more, we carry the fight against the natural process of aging. The war against wrinkles, excess weight and other age-related changes seems infinitely important, but the saddest thing — she obviously lost.

Marta Ketro

Marta Ketro

Columnist cosmo.ru

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Marta Ketro
Psychology
Not news
«Люди второго сорта»: как жить на четвёртом десятке

Until recently I did not consider it necessary seriously to writing about the eternal feminine the war with aging. And not because it’s such a complex topic, on the contrary, it seemed to me the length and breadth researched and chewed. The best (and humiliating) the definition of this process that I met the rat race. This is an attempt to resist the natural flow of life.

But once worn, this topic suddenly becomes relevant for you or your friends, and then closely comes the realization: my God, what flour we ourselves condemn.

According to my observations, in middle age we expect at least three crises.

First — after about thirty-seven years. The female body is approaching forty is taken to behave in a monstrous way. I’m not sure what’s going on with hormones, but even the most conserved of the “girls” begin to lose one’s looks dramatically. Getting fatter, flabbier skin, some pimples appear suddenly. Generally spoils all he can from the hair to the character. And that’s the moment when a woman is faced with his first choice: lots of effort to try to stay “girls” or relax and go into aunties. Just enough to pull the plug on those five to seven pounds, which overgrow on the sides; allow yourself wrinkles between the eyebrows and around the lips; to deal with floated jawline. Let go of the reins easy and pleasant, but most prefer to resist. Not all by this time, arranged a personal life, but by Russian standards women the marriage did not take, so, cool as anything, and five years must be rolled back. And the public does not understand: as it is, not to fight for youth?! And besides, the woman suddenly realizes that fertility she has left nothing at all, and if I wanted another baby, then continue to pull the impossible, and this is also a reason to engage seriously with themselves.

For nesmirivshimisya ladies have good news: in the forty-something peredelyvat in hormonal balance, and life is definitely getting better. You are no longer thirty years old lady, but while “girl of indeterminate age”, without any serious print aging on the face, unless, of course, took the beautician enough money.

But after forty-five the situation repeats itself in more rigid variant. Body again decides that “it’s time”, and begins to gain weight, get sick and deteriorate. And once again you have to choose, suddenly feeling the futility of war over time. The face and body require to engage in the next round, which is much harder to resist and impossible to beat.

And you, apparently, no longer able to have children: although menopause has not yet come, but it is already clear that the huge stage of life completed. For so many years for you to open this door, you’re used to the possibility at any time to have a baby. Now, you know, everything. Just the thought of it leads some women in a savage despair, while others survive it quite calmly.

Let’s say you choose a diet, sports and some intervention of a plastic surgeon. Now you are more or less perfect “canned”, and charm depends entirely on the strength of your personality: some still good and others are incredibly boring and sometimes unpleasant, because the girl techniques themselves long ago exhausted, and the female did not turn out — too you’ve been hiding from growing up.

And by the end of the fifties to all comes the climax, and then it or hard braces and unimaginable daily feat, or relax finally: you got old.

When you realize all of this coming hell, there is only one question: what the hell?! Why do I need this and why this requires the world?

Because the world (yeah!) waiting for you as long as possible young. A woman who is thirty-seven refuses to Botox and gradually covered with wrinkles, causes confusion bordering on outrage. You won’t be able to look twenty-five, but why not trying?! I want to move on to second grade? It is only in a man’s world there is a saying about the old horse furrow not spoil, something about a noble gray hair and the old wine that improves with age. And for women one possibility: old — down with the distance. Now you’re an aunt, not a woman.

And okay it was only the dictates of public opinion, it is possible to not care with great pleasure, inner strength enough for this. But wakes up some primal fear: ahhh, the old women throw it in the trash! It is urgent to adapt, to mimic a young competitive female!

Girls. Hey. You will not eat as a useless member of the pack. You can keep the youth, only if you want. This is really a great joy — from year to year to see in the mirror toned face and slim body. But if you are satisfied with the natural course of life, and to fight over time, no desire, can you afford to grow old. From this, you will not cease to be a woman, whatever you whispered your fears. And public opinion also do not be afraid, because the adults that you like decide your fate, so be it correctly.

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