“Successful women are not sick”: as the cult of health is killing us

Anastasia Maksimova understands why we do draw the line between “decent” diseases and “indecent” and what are we facing (spoiler alert — nothing good).

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Cosmo Online
Psychology
Not news
«Успешные женщины не болеют»: как культ здоровья убивает нас

I had a friend Dasha, and Dasha was stale chicken. Sneaky bird for some time remained inside, but this neighborhood did not like Casinomy stomach. My friend was very sick, and its route lay between the toilet and the sofa.

And then came her boyfriend I honestly don’t remember what his name was. Until I opened the door, Dora had to lie down on the sofa, leaning back on the pillows and hide away the charcoal. Pale and interesting, she told her boyfriend that she suddenly has a heart attack. No, no, nothing. She already called the doctor and he recommended rest and bed rest.

A sick heart is good, but when you have, for example, inflammation of the bladder — it is better to eat a dead crab than to declare this publicly.

Boyfriend sat next to, with mournful look, holding Dasha’s hand and sailed away. “Why didn’t you tell about the chicken?” — I asked. Dasha made big eyes: “are You crazy? Have to say that I have vomiting? Also forget the diarrhea? After that, he will be thinking about me? The disease should be invisible! That’s when it hurts the heart is perfect.”

So I found myself in a new world where a heart condition is good, but when you have, for example, inflammation of the bladder — it is better to eat a dead crab than to declare this publicly.

The perfect disease

Not so long ago, approximately since the mid-nineteenth century, was a common epithet — “consumptive beauty”. Women even put their makeup on in the “chococino style”: pale skin, bright eyes and bright blush. The characters suffering from tuberculosis, used and Lermontov, Dickens, and remark. As a rule, patients with tuberculosis were described as people sensitive, romantic and fragile. Terrible to say, but the tuberculosis was in Vogue.

Today in fashion health. On the one hand, it’s certainly better than pretending to be sick with tuberculosis. On the other, the disease has become a burden not only physical but also social.

We settled in the belief that successful people do not get sick. They lead a healthy lifestyle, do sports, get up at five in the morning, practice mindfulness and the day you feel as hares from advertising of batteries. And if not — then they have something wrong.

But, as it turned out, not only in relation to health and success. Dasha didn’t need to pretend to be successful in front of her boyfriend. In addition to feelings of guilt for his weakness, we experience shame because there are strict rules about what parts of our body worthy of mention in small talk, and what better to forget.

The heart, for example — “decent” on. “You know, I yesterday heart was beating, I was scared. Probably drank too much coffee.” The head, too. It can hurt, say, because of pressure differences.

Successful people lead a healthy lifestyle, do sports, get up at five in the morning, practice mindfulness and the day you feel as hares from advertising of batteries. And if not — then they have something wrong.

Hands and feet, especially when it comes to sports injury, is also worthy. To break a finger during a marathon or climbing mount Everest — not the same thing as to pinch the door of the bus (although it will be understood). Stomach, liver… Tread on shaky ground. It is possible to mention, if you do not follow the symptoms and don’t catch the eye.

The bladder and bowel is in disgrace. Nobody likes them, and they have no friends. Not to say at work that you have painful periods and that’s why you walk like a duck. It is also important to mention thrush, cystitis, skin rash or nausea.

In the Victorian era bashful patient could tell the doctor that they have hurts instead… they showed the sore spot on the doll! I’m not kidding: the doctor handed the lady the doll and asked to point a finger, where she “feels bad”.

“It’s not contagious!” and “cheer up!”

We don’t live in the Victorian era (yay), but we also have serious problems with the description of their own ailments. Why?

First, we are ashamed because we do not understand how it all works. Surprisingly, even nowadays a lot of people do not know how to construct their “inner world”. We don’t really have a good idea why you need a spleen. Often the mother can not explain to her daughter why happen monthly. And that ignorance creates fear — like fear of the dark in an unfamiliar room.

Once I was sitting on the Playground, where we walked deaf girl. Perhaps the deafness she was born because she didn’t speak (many people think deaf people are always dumb — of course it is not), and lowed. From the point of view of her contemporaries — little five years old is mooing sounded creepy.

But the worse thing was not that. Their mothers took the children by the hand and led away instead of having to explain that Yes, sometimes people do not hear or do not see, and that’s okay too. But I know how they think. I was well aware of this medieval ignorant horror which for hundreds of years people were made to eliminate or isolate all those who could be a source of infection. The absurd instinct tells these mothers that the deafness of another child somehow spread to their children.

I personally know several people who believe that AIDS can be transmitted through a handshake.

Secondly, we are afraid to be outcasts. When we get sick, we have thrown overboard a normal life. Colleagues into the Elevator, one of them at the hands of the pink flakes of eczema. All eyes were glued to her unfortunate brush. “It’s not contagious!” — hurriedly said the woman apologetically and blushing. Are we so afraid of cause fear and disgust that even the need for support goes by the wayside.

Finally, we are scared, our own emotions, someone will depreciate. We are ashamed not only sick, but sick “not serious.” Cancer is awful, and some bronchitis — what is bronchitis?

“Cheer up!”

I hate this phrase. Get ready himself. He is a rag.

Let’s talk?

Our body is not the enemy. It is hoped that bodypositive will go on and — that is important! deeper. It will also affect the bowel and bladder, and spleen, and Appendix. We need to learn to speak for themselves and to learn to speak our children. No one wants to show the sore spot on the doll.

If your partner really scare your painful periods, or he’s implying that you’re not Angelina Jolie, when you have a swollen cheek after tooth extraction can be a problem and not you? Tell him that he is not Angelina Jolie, at the end of it all.

To sound scary and embarrassing. But if your partner really scare your painful periods, or he’s implying that you’re not Angelina Jolie, when you have a swollen cheek after tooth extraction can be a problem and not you? Tell him that he is not Angelina Jolie, at the end of it all.

No one likes to experience pain, the hurt. We want to support us, helped us and sympathized with. All want to hear words of encouragement. This is normal. Disease an unpleasant, but integral part of life, and the better we are acquainted with your body, the easier it will be to discuss it.

Because, speaking frankly, that line is between “decent” diseases and “a disgrace” — exists only in our minds.

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